Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman
Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine.
As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya go?"
"I won First Place !," said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see another sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"I won First Place , too," answers Superman. "Did you ever have a doubt?"
They continue walking when they see a third sign: "Contest - Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
Pinocchio quickly enters the contest. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Who the hell is Donald Trump ?" asked Pinocchio.
A man who recogizes his mistakes when wrong is wise. A man that recognizes his mistake when he is right is...
Married.
If a man says something in the middle of a forest and a woman isn't around to hear it, is he still wrong?
My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is steadily improving.
Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm. One of them turns to ask the other, "What kind of music are you into?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan."
I asked my wife of 25 years if she'd still love me if I didn't have any money.
She thought about it and nodded with a smile. "Yes, of course I still would love you. I would MISS you, but still love you."