John and his parrot!

Now this parrot was the rudest, noisiest, most foul mouthed parrot you can imagine. Every other word out of this parrot's beak was profanity, and strings of filthy insults - absolutely appalling behaviour!

Well, over the course of the next week, John tried speaking to it softy and calmly, playing classical music to it, being very friendly and kind, all in an effort to modify this bird's language and attitude. It didn't work. This awful parrot just screamed abuse at him, all day and all night. Finally, after a horrendous day listening to this torrent of filth pouring out of the parrot, I'm afraid John just snapped. He screamed back at the parrot, and of course the parrot screamed louder. He hit the parrot, and of course the parrot bit him. He threw a discarded shoe at the parrot, and naturally the parrot took to the air and shat on him.

In a blind rage, John grabbed the parrot by the neck and flung him into the freezer and slammed the door shut. In the glorious peace that followed, John leaned against the kitchen door, panting with the exhaustion and fury of it all, and I have to say it took him several minutes to calm down, and collect his thoughts. That's when he realized that maybe he'd gone too far, and that he might have actually hurt this parrot - so he cautiously opened the freezer door, and to his surprise the parrot meekly walked out, and sat calmly on John's outstretched hand.

To John's amazement, the parrot then said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour." As you might imagine, John was absolutely stunned at this, but before he could even question it, the parrot said "May I ask you sir, what the turkey did?"

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!